


Might as well be Family

by orphan_account



Category: Backstrom (TV)
Genre: Families of Choice, Gen, platonic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-04-03
Packaged: 2018-03-20 23:41:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3669507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m not your father, Valentine, don't push your daddy issues on me."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Might as well be Family

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to let me know what you think and/or to give constructive criticism in the comments!

Gregory Valentine gave a soft grunt as he was pushed out of bed much too early for a Saturday morning, and several curses when he hit the floor. He rolled back over, glaring expressively at a smirking Backstrom. “What the fuck?” he said blearily.

 

“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” Backstrom crooned before tossing Valentine some kind of greasy breakfast sandwich.

 

Valentine examined the sandwich in his hand, “You wake me up at five a.m.,” he drawled bitterly, “for this?”

 

“Yeah pretty much. Oh, and I also have a case. A gay case.”

 

“Backstrom, you are aware that cases don’t have sexual orientations, right?”

 

Backstrom snorted, “Yeah, I’m pretty sure you were lecturing me about that like yesterday, but trust me, if a case was ever gay, it would be this case. That’s why I need your expertise.”

 

“I’m not a commodity.”

 

“I brought that fancy Peruvian coffee blend you like,” Backstrom said in a sing-song voice as Valentine unwrapped his sandwich, then tilted his head and pursued his lips, as if considering the offer.

 

“And I can get you a date with-”

 

“Neidermayer’s 'straight'.”

 

“-that barista you like at Starbucks. Besides, I wouldn’t set you up with Neidermayer, you’re going to have to turn him on your own.”

 

“Yeah, but I think it’s working.”

 

“You know he’s banging Nadia, right?”

 

“Bisexuals exist.”

 

“He’s still _banging Nadia_.”

 

“Damn. How will I live while there is a currently unattainable male who is hypothetically heterosexual?”

 

“Scientists everywhere are asking the same question,” Backstrom said, then cleared his throat, “But you’d be way out of his league if he were gay, so I-”

 

“Set me up with the hot barista from Starbucks, I get it.” Gregory looked up at Backstrom, suddenly turning up the wattage on his “wholesome-all-American boy scout” impression, which was quite impressive considering his various tattoos and his smeared eyeliner, “Thanks, dad.” he said in a quivering, almost humble voice.

 

“I’m not your father, Valentine,” Backstrom grunted, turning away with only the slightest amount of endearing embarrassment showing through his gruff exterior, only enough for someone who knew him really well to pick up on.  “Don’t push your daddy issues on me.”

 

“I know,” Valentine smirked, “But it’s just so much fun to see you get flustered.” Backstrom scowled and backed out of the room, muttering something under his breath.

 

Unconsciously, Valentine’s smirk shifted to a smile at this quirk. _It seems we’re both in need of someone_ , he thought, _so we might as well be family._

 

 


End file.
